Confronting people is one of the most difficult task I found in the past. Now, with some reading, training and experience I am able to say that I could confront to anyone. It was not easy and I know that I have to learn a lot more, but I am happy the 90% of the time I confront to somebody today. In the missed 10%, I am not happy, but I always leave the door open to start the confrontation in the future.
Saying that, and if you are in the same status, you really know the benefits of confronting people. The most important for me in one confrontation is:
- WIN-WIN goals
Now, after trying different approaches, my challenger is getting team members confronted with the same 3 points I just wrote down. Times to times I arrive to teams where the “constructive” confrontation does not exit at all.
As coach I always provide to team members with a framework to confront team members, I tried to keep it simple and motivate them to confront people inside the team and outside the team. Here are my tips:
Keep your mind positive or neutral about someone else
If you want confront someone, be sure you don’t have any negative thinking in your mind. Use always facts to build your story in mind before the confrontation.
Be sure that both part are comfortable with the situation and the way to aboard it
Control your voice is a big factor to be sure all are comfortable in those situations. Emotions must be out of any confrontation. You need to be sure you go directly to the issue/gap without lost the respect for you partner/college.
Be ready to fix issue/gap in a flexible way
Both side of the confrontation need to flexible at the moment of the solution/action will take place. You need to get agreement in this rule before you jump in any solution.
One of my tips is: keep in mind one win-win solution.
I hope this help you in your next confrontation. I strongly recommend “Crucial Confrontations” by Kerry Patterson
Feel free to share your thinking and comments.
I wish the best for 2013 to all of you!!!
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